Grief, Joy and Him

Our Christmas decorations are finally up! 

The house is warm. 

Some cookies are baking. 

My two favorite people in the world are within arms reach. 

And, yet, I’m not feeling very joyful right now. I think some of you may feel the same. 

I’m still grieving and working out some feelings. I’m grieving about our previous losses still. I’m grieving about being hundreds of miles away from my best friends and the rest of my family. I’m grieving for lost friendships from yesteryear.  I’m just grieving. You may be grieving, too. You may be grieving because of a death or lost relationship or damaged relationship or you may just be battling a depression because of a chemical imbalance. Whatever it is, I’m right there with you. 

But, in the midst of all of the hurt or sadness or loneliness, there’s a bright spot in my life that can shed light on even the darkest corners of my day or thoughts - Jesus Christ. 

Some people may not believe and others may do all they can to question and doubt because how can you believe in something or someone when the hurt and pain of this world feels suffocating sometimes...right? 

Well, let me share this with you. Even on my darkest days I can cling to him and the rest fades away.  On the days when I didn’t feel like taking another step, I kept his promises on repeat in my head and was able to crawl towards him. On the days when I felt so alone, I was able to rest in him and find comfort.

I know that some may question this invisible person. This person who supposedly gave his life and promised to make it all better. This person who we only know through a book that’s been passed down for thousands of years. And, we’re man and man makes mistakes so how can this book resemble any kind of truth. And, how can he exist when he lets so much bad happen. And how come he let so-and-so die and why is there cancer and why do children starve and why do the elderly die alone and why does the pain not got away and why doesn’t he listen...

I can’t answer those questions. I mean I can, but I don’t know the answers and when I think I know the answers and can point to a verse, I’m challenged by something else and it’s back to square one in my mind. But, and it’s a major but, when I think of how this man, Jesus Christ, was able to turn 12 men into martyrs for sake of sharing his salvation and peace and joy, well, who am I to doubt that they must have seen miracles and they must have preached for a reason and they must have been willing to give it up for some kind of truth. 

When I think about how I want to live my life and how I want to follow his teachings and how I want to experience the grace and peace he can only bring...I can’t help but know that this world will never be able to give me what he can. 

As you sit in your living room and find yourself surrounded, but maybe still missing something, I pray that you can even for just a moment wonder about his light and what Jesus Christ can bring to you and yours this season.