We’re Marching for Babies

In 2016, Matthew and I decided to make the March of Dimes our family charity.  We’ve never held our babies, but I simply felt that this cause mattered. After all, premature birth affects about 380,000 babies here in the United States.

And, in 2016, preterm birth increased in the U.S. for the first time in eight years.  That means that the number of families who saw their babies come into this world too soon and even leave this world before their first birthday increased for the first time in eight years.

Any increase is too much for these babies and their families.  Will you help us raise awareness about premature birth?

This year, we will again be participating in the Charleston March for Babies on April 29. This time we’ll be marching with Baby Arinez in mind! As a family team, our 2017 goal is $1,000.  Last year we raised $685.

Leading up to April 29, we will be hosting fundraisers that you can participate in for a chance to win some prizes!  We’ll be sharing details on our personal Facebook pages as we finalize them.

If you’re ready to support our team, feel free to head over to our team page and donate today. Any donation from $5 to $100 will make a difference.


Resting in Jesus & Waiting for Baby

Have you ever rested in Jesus? Simply rested in His promises and love?

When we lost our last baby, that’s all we could do.  As a couple, we relied on one another to wipe our tears.  As believers, we relied on Him to fill our hearts with understanding and gratitude. In those months, our faith grew. Our understanding of how good God is grew.  Our love for Him grew.

There were still times of sadness.  There were still times where we struggled with wanting our plans to become reality. But, at the end of those days we simply rested in Him.

Then, one Sunday I asked one of our Brothers at Northwood to pray for me to be better at giving it to Him. Thank you, JP Totuszysnki.


That entire week I was restless and felt the need to take a test. Lord, if you know it’s going to hurt me just take this feeling away. I’ll be okay with not taking one, but help me put this feeling aside. Nope, the feeling just stayed there.  I finally caved and took a test.

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Our Month

Any surgeries in the last year?

Yes, D&C.

Oh, I’m so sorry.

And, with that my podiatrist’s medical assistant left the exam room.

And, that’s all it took for the tears to build. I knew I only had five minutes, at the most, to furiously blink to dry my eyes. I cleared my throat and sat up straight. I was not going to cry to my podiatrist as he looked at my fractured foot. No, I was not going to give in to the tears. I was not going to look at the calendar.  Nope. Not Happening.  Not today.

But, it happened.  I thought about the milestones that would have been met by now. I thought about how big my belly would be. I thought about the Halloween costumes we would have purchased. I thought about the “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament that I wanted on our tree.  I thought about my babies. Babies.

Then I cried.  I sat in a restroom stall at work and cried. After a few minutes, I pulled out my bag and re-applied my makeup. Then, I sat for a few more minutes to let the redness on my face subside a bit. And, finally, I stood up and limped back to my desk. I hate my boot. I then proceeded to be in a terrible mood for the next few hours and I blamed it all on my foot. My foot and this stupid boot.

And, then I talked to my Jesus.

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Just Like Fernando – A Birthday Revelation

So, there I am in my front yard. Walking around with a bottle of ant bait and it hits me like the acorns that squirrels throw when you get too close to their stash in your garden. . .I look like my father right now.

One of the most vivid memories of my dad from when I was growing up was seeing him walk around our property with white powder ant bait and spreading it. He did this nearly every evening or at least it felt as if it was every evening.  He would simply walk, inspect, and spread the bait. That image is permanently in my memories. It’s the moments that seem to be the most minute that stick with you, huh?

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Embracing Victories

“. . .We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;  persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. . .”

1 Corinthians 4:8-9

So, there I am cruising down Rivers Avenue during afternoon rush hour on the first week of school being back in session.  Okay, just kidding, I wasn’t cruising down Rivers. I was doing more of a sloppy salsa basic – you go forward, no I go forward, wait why are you actually backing up to me – with the truck in front of me, but you get the idea.

Back to it, I’m cruising and then the aha moment comes upon me.  I’m doing pretty okay today. If you know our story, you know that we’ve had multiple miscarriages during our relationship and being okay is a pretty big deal. It’s not to say that I still don’t have moments of sadness or throw a pillow out of frustration at my husband’s head. Sorry, babe.

It does mean that embracing victories, even the smallest ones, deserves a satisfactory nod when I look in the mirror. Here are my recent victories. . .

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