“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 (NIV)
Y’all, I have found yoga. Well, I’ve actually had yoga in my life for the last year or so. I don’t get too crazy with it and I’m not exactly consistent with it, but I have found yoga. I’ve even made M come down on all fours for downward dog a few times.
This has been a pretty tough pregnancy. Well, the first 18 weeks were tough and at times scary; yet, I didn’t find myself crying or worked up in a frenzy.
Instead of jumping into the negative like. . .
I focus on the now. Well, that was until yesterday in my first Prenatal Mind & Body class in downtown Charleston.
Yesterday I had tears trying to cause drama not once, not twice, but three times during my class.
We started off class with a few yoga movements.
Clear your mind. You may have had a busy day – just push that away right now. Don’t worry about what you’ll be doing in an hour. Just be in the now. That’s where we find happiness.
Um, woman, you’re awesome, but not happening right now.
M had suddenly got called out of town for work and I would be spending the night alone. And, that meant dinner by myself on the couch with Belle staring at me and begging me for food.
Cue the first set of tears.
Do not cry, Ashley. Don’t you dare open your eyes and let them out. Suck it up. Be in the freakin’ now.
So, after a few deep breaths and cradling the baby bump, I was able to focus on the next movements.
Then, it was time for our circuit training. Y’all, if you have a wall, go do a wall sit. For a minute. While practicing exercising your pelvic muscles. This was the exercise that made my eyes tear up.
Here I was 22 weeks pregnant and struggling with something I was once able to do for several minutes at a time. Here I was holding my belly and unable to find my breath. Here I was shaking my head because while I knew my body was amazing and growing this little human being I was struggling with a simple wall sit. Where had my endurance gone the last year? Why were my legs shaking? Why did it hurt after just 20 seconds?
Again, I gave myself a forceful pep talk.
Ashley, suck it up. You’re doing this for [insert baby name]. Get it together. Breath. Labor ain’t gonna be easy so you need to prepare now.
And with that I blinked and steadied my breathing and was able to do that circuit one more time.
And, finally, it was time for Savasana. This has at times been considered the most important part of yoga. It’s time to relax, but be fully conscious – just imagine being REALLY in the now. You end up lying on your back (or if you’re pregnant on this amazing cushion – don’t know the name of it – and reclined at 45 degrees) , the arms and legs are spread out to your sides and the eyes are closed and you breath deep. Toss a cool towel on my forehead with some lavender and I’m in heaven. And, another crying fest.
So, go ahead and just relax. Thank yourself for coming today. Send the love and comfort to your baby. Take deep breaths and stay in this moment.
And then “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” began playing and my tears and a prayer filled my heart.
Thank you, Jesus, for this little one. Thank you for loving us and trusting us to take care of her. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I let the tears escape my eyes at this point.
Jesus and yoga brought me back to what really mattered – this amazing blessing of our daughter.
Thank Jesus for yoga.